Cereal Boxing

Viral Breakfast: 'Milk and Cereal'

2010-01-25T16:08:00.003-05:00

Approximately 10 years ago no one could escape this viral video. Part of me wishes I forgot about it altogether because the G. Love & Special Sauce song, "Milk and Cereal", will get stuck in your head for days. It's no surprise that a simple search on YouTube showed tons of imitators of the original, made by two Virginia Tech students, Matt Fielder and Dan Loveless.

Two Cereals, One Box

2010-01-22T14:49:00.006-05:00

I, like most people, am a big advocate for two-for-one deals. Going to a bar to discover it's two-for-one beers or well drinks means it's going to be: A) a great - and cheap - night, and B) a long next day.

The childhood equivalent to that great happy hour special - at least for me anyway - had to be NCS, better known as Nintendo Cereal System, which was popular back in the 1980s and early '90s. One side of the cereal featured the Super Mario Brothers and had a fruity taste similar to Trix, while the other side had Zelda cereal with a berry taste. 1 box + 2 cereals = euphoric breakfast experience. I still have no idea how the genius idea never caught on, but it should be revisited. You are sorely missed NCE...sorely sorely missed.

Breakfast of Champs (and Chumps)

2010-01-21T14:56:00.007-05:00

I'm not gonna lie, I can't remember the last time I ate Wheaties, but that will soon change since I discovered Wheaties Fuel. It seems General Mills' Breakfast of Champions has finally moved into the 21st Century and is going after the Gatorade crowd (ie. me) with its new name and branding.

According to the Wheaties Fuel's website, it was "co-created with a team of today’s elite champions including Peyton Manning, Albert Pujols, Kevin Garnett, Bryan Clay, and Hunter Kemper. Working with Dr. John Ivy, a performance nutrition expert, the Co-Creation Team designed Wheaties Fuel for the active individual; whether that activity is due to participation in athletics, work related activities or leisure time physical pursuits."

So basically General Mills is saying all I need to do is eat this cereal every day and I'll be able to hit a 98mph fastball or throw a football as far as Peyton...right?

Cocoa Puss and Cereal Killers

2010-01-20T14:30:00.004-05:00

Although it has been defunct since March 2008, the blog Cereal Killers is a must visit for any cereal fanatics. It features "terrorfying takes on some of your favorite breakfast cereal's, and some original ones by some of the top animation artists and illustrators from today!" The box covers are apparently suppose to be part of a book also entitled "Cereal Killers".

It is definitely worth browsing through the various unique fictitious cereal boxes. A few of my favorites are: Cocoa Puss, Gloomios (featuring Edgar Allen Poe), and Abominable Frost Bites.

An Issue of Color

2010-01-19T17:29:00.006-05:00

A new book, "Food Rules: An Eater's Manual" by Michael Pollen advises breakfast fanatics to avoid cereals that change the color of milk, and for consumers to "steer clear of any foods your grandmother wouldn’t recognize". Talk about a slap in the face to Count Chocula.

It should not come as any surprise that a food that changes the color of milk is not good for you, and their are certainly healthy cereal that also taste amazing (Kellogg's Special K and Honey Nut Cheerios to name a couple), but dammit sometimes you just need some artificial favor in your life, eat those Cocoa Puffs with pride and take a second to appreciate a food took bland everyday 2 percent milk and it chocolate milk.

Prize Me Brah

2008-10-15T17:05:00.005-04:00

Remember the days when you didn’t need to collect proof of purchase cards or go to a Web site to claim a cereal price? Well Cheerios is once again running their annual Spoonful of Stories program will give away children books in every box until January.

Clearly I’m on board with free prizes. Cereal companies don’t do enough free prizes these days. I miss the days of being surprised when that prize finally fell into the bowl; it was like a mini spontaneous Christmas with every box.

Growing up, it was always a race between my brother and I to be the first one to find the prize. Sometimes this resulted in one of us sticking our entire arm into the box of Fruit Loops in order to find the damn toy car or action figure. I know contaminating everyone's breakfast was disgusting, but when you’re a kid and there’s a free toy on the line, there are no rules.

I'm all for Cheerios promoting youth literacy, but there have been some way better cereal prizes out there over the years. What was the best prize you found in a box of cereal?

Breakfast In A Half Shell

2008-10-14T17:26:00.010-04:00

Kellogg’s announced consumers of Special K will receive a free cereal bowl, for a limited time. I’ve always been a sucker for free stuff, so I might have to take a break from my current Apple Jacks binge for some Special K. This is not the first time I’ve been tempted by a free bowl. Back in the good ol' days of Saved By The Bell and Super Mario, Cookie Crisp was giving out free Ninja Turtles bowls with every box.

I dare anyone to find a more badass cereal bowl than my Michelangelo-shaped container. To this day I still am a proud owner of that bowl, and break it out for special occasions. Chicks dig dudes with random '90s paraphernalia, right?

The Last Milk Crusade

2008-10-13T17:30:00.003-04:00

There is a classic divide in the cereal world between those who trash the leftover milk from a bowl of cereal and those who gulp it down as if it were drinking from the Holy Grail. The easiest way to think about it is in terms of politics, you have the liberals, conservatives, and independents.

Liberals: These milk-drinking-activists believe in the whole cereal experience, not just the top two percent where the crunchy goodness lies. Some liberals view drinking the leftover concoction as a breakfast dessert, while others feel it is their consumer duty to not let any milk go to waste.

Conservatives: These traditionalists believe the strength in their meal is in the cereal itself, not some milky residue. Conservatives are set in their ways and believe once the cereal is gone, the meal is over, no need to reach out to content.

Independents: This party is on the fence depending on the cereal in their bowl. They may guzzle up left over milk from Cocoa Krispies (a.k.a. chocolate milk), but they may not feel inclined to drink up Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk (which is like drinking straight sugar).

Now although I would like for this to be a non-partisan blog, and I will always welcome both milk drinkers and dumpers, I must admit that I down that milk as if I’m Indiana Jones drinking for eternal life in the Last Crusade. I’m always curious to hear what side others fall on the great milk divide, and their reasoning behind it.

'Oh My God It's Obama O's'

2008-10-10T12:23:00.005-04:00

It was only a matter of time before cereal went political. A unique travel company, AirBed & Breakfast, is selling Obama O’s and Cap’n McCain as a part of a marketing promotion. Obama O’s slogan is “Hope In Every Bowl”, while Cap’n McCain’s is “A Maverick In Every Box”.

The Cap’n MaCain jingle actually makes more sense than any of the points he made in the last debate. He would probably have more success in the future if he just played the jingle over and over again. See example below:

"Stay the course, never surrender, with every bite you're a freedom defender."

Next should be Palin Puffs. What should the slogan be?

I Pity The Fool

2008-10-09T14:33:00.005-04:00

After Michael Phelps' domination at the Beijing Olympics, many criticized the athlete for wanting to appear on a Frosted Flakes box rather than Wheaties. If the dude loves Frosted Flakes, let him promote Frosted Flakes. Why should any sports star be obligated to promote a cereal they probably never eat?

What Phelps really should do is have a company make his own cereal (Phelps Phlakes?), as the great 1980's American legend, Mr. T, once did. Although Phelps will never be nearly as badass as the man who played Clubber Lang, it can’t hurt to try to take a business tip from the former actor/wrestler/motivational speaker, and yes, musical artist.

If you have any doubts about "teaming up with Mr. T", you clearly haven't seen the commercial.

Ecstasy Crunch

2008-10-08T11:48:00.004-04:00

Deputies in Louisiana seized a Fruit Loops box filled with 5,000 Ecstasy pills. And people are worried about the amount of sugar found in cereal these days?

Liquid Fruity Pebbles

2008-10-07T15:47:00.002-04:00

It was a little over one year ago I was first introduced to what could the greatest beer of all time. I was at a bar called Manny Brown’s on an uneventful Tuesday with some friends, when we were told to try a beer called Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat.

Here is a rather obscure reenactment of my reaction to my first pint of Sunset Wheat.

Sip One: “Wow, this is different.”

Sip Two: “This is actually really good!”

Sip Three: “This tastes really familiar. What is it though?”

Sip Four: “Holy shit, it’s Fruity Pebbles!”

Now since that day at at the bar, I’ve introduced Sunset Wheat to many people – including many doubters – and unanimously they agreed Sunset Wheat is the liquid alcoholic version of Fruity Pebbles. If they can make Fruity Pebbles into a beer, it’s only a matter of time before Cocoa Pebbles is brewed – and that is a day I am anxiously awaiting.

Have you tried Sunset Wheat? What are your thoughts on the Sunset Wheat-Fruity Pebbles Theory? Comment Below.

'Did You Eat All The Cereal?'

2008-10-06T14:16:00.001-04:00

Anyone who ever lived with a roommate can relate to having their food mysteriously go missing. In my experience there is no worse time to discover your roommate raided your food then when you are preparing a bowl of Fruit Loops in the morning, after a night of drinking. If only The Bourne Nutrition was real.

Jason Bourne Roommate Conflict Resolution - Watch more free videos

Count Chocula vs. Fatty's Parents

2008-10-03T16:28:00.007-04:00

With the recent Consumer Reports' study concerning the amount of sugar found in cereal, also comes the issue of whether these unhealthy cereals should be allowed to market to children.

It’s understandable that something should be done to cut the obesity rate, but the problem doesn’t lie on the pointy shoulders of Count Chocula, the responsibility is on the parents of these children. Kids aren’t the ones going to the store and buying sugar-filled cereal, it’s the pushover parents.

If characters like Tony the Tiger are hunted down, it is only a matter of time before other companies geared toward kids are brought down. Thinking back to my Saturday morning cartoon days, besides the Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog commercials, one could argue all commercials promoted products that are bad for kids.

McDonald’s promotes obesity, Nintendo promotes laziness, Spy Gear promotes stalking – OK that may be a stretch, but it’s obvious the real problem is the parents not controlling their kids, not the companies trying to sell their products.

Shocking Report Finds Cereal Contains Sugar

2008-10-02T11:41:00.000-04:00

A new study done by Consumer Reports found that various cereals contain more than 50 percent sugar. Of the 27 cereals reviewed only four were considered “Very Good” by Consumer Reports.

The fact that there are some people out there who are shocked by the results of this study is astonishing. Today’s parents of young children grew up in a time when “Sugar” was commonly in the name of cereals. Example: Until the 1980’s, Honey Smacks went under the name Sugar Smacks.

The real question is why did Consumer Reports waste money on conducting this study when all it had to do was drink the leftover milk in a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and experience the insomniac side-effects?

To see the full list of where the cereals ranked keep reading.

As found on ABCNews.com, courtesy of Consumer Reports, Nov. 2008

RATED VERY GOOD
1. Cheerios (General Mills)
2. Kix (General Mills)
3. Life (Quaker Oats)
4. Honey Nut Cheerios (General Mills)
RATED GOOD
5. Frosted Mini-Wheats Bite Size (Kellogg's)
6. Frosted Flakes Gold (Kellogg's)
7. Cookie Crisp (General Mills)
8. Golden Grahams Honey Graham (General Mills)
9. Lucky Charms (General Mills)
10. Cocoa Puffs (General Mills)
11. Cinnamon Toast Crunch (General Mills)
12. Trix (General Mills)
13. Reese's Puffs (General Mills)
14. Fruity Pebbles (Post)
15. Honey-Comb (Post)
16. Cocoa Pebbles (Post)
17. Frosted Flakes (Kellogg's)
18. Cocoa Krispies (Kellogg's)
19. Frosted Flakes Reduced Sugar (Kellogg's)
RATED FAIR
20. Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch (Quaker Oats)
21. Cap'n Crunch (Quaker Oats)
22. Rice Krispies (Kellogg's)
23. Apple Jacks (Kellogg's)
24. Froot Loops (Kellogg's)
25. Golden Crisp (Post)
26. Honey Smacks (Kellogg's)
27. Corn Pops (Kellogg's)

Cereal Sanctuaries

2008-10-01T13:43:00.000-04:00

Since ice cream parlors have been around for decades, it was only a matter of time before cereal enthusiasts had places to call their own. Cereal cafes have started to pop up across the country and so far two have stood out, Cereality and The Cereal Bowl.

Cereality: The current juggernaut in cereal cafes, Cereality, allows customers to pick among two of their favorite cereals, add two toppings, put it in a box and take it home or add milk and enjoy it in the cafe. Cereality is to cereal what Cold Stone Creamery is to ice cream.

My box would go as follows: Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Frosted Flakes, blueberries, and chocolate chips.

The Cereal Bowl: This cereal heaven offers a smorgasbord of cereals mixed in different arrangements with fruit and other toppings. By the looks of it, it seems like a cereal equivalent to Ben & Jerry’s, lots of good junk jumbled together.

Although many items on the menu caught my eye the one I am really anxious to check out is “3 On 3”. This item mixes Fruit Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Apple Jacks, strawberries, bananas, and blueberries. It may rot your teeth, but let’s be honest taste should always outweigh dental health.