Prize Me Brah

Remember the days when you didn’t need to collect proof of purchase cards or go to a Web site to claim a cereal price? Well Cheerios is once again running their annual Spoonful of Stories program will give away children books in every box until January.

Clearly I’m on board with free prizes. Cereal companies don’t do enough free prizes these days. I miss the days of being surprised when that prize finally fell into the bowl; it was like a mini spontaneous Christmas with every box.

Growing up, it was always a race between my brother and I to be the first one to find the prize. Sometimes this resulted in one of us sticking our entire arm into the box of Fruit Loops in order to find the damn toy car or action figure. I know contaminating everyone's breakfast was disgusting, but when you’re a kid and there’s a free toy on the line, there are no rules.

I'm all for Cheerios promoting youth literacy, but there have been some way better cereal prizes out there over the years. What was the best prize you found in a box of cereal?

Breakfast In A Half Shell

Kellogg’s announced consumers of Special K will receive a free cereal bowl, for a limited time. I’ve always been a sucker for free stuff, so I might have to take a break from my current Apple Jacks binge for some Special K. This is not the first time I’ve been tempted by a free bowl. Back in the good ol' days of Saved By The Bell and Super Mario, Cookie Crisp was giving out free Ninja Turtles bowls with every box.

I dare anyone to find a more badass cereal bowl than my Michelangelo-shaped container. To this day I still am a proud owner of that bowl, and break it out for special occasions. Chicks dig dudes with random '90s paraphernalia, right?

The Last Milk Crusade

There is a classic divide in the cereal world between those who trash the leftover milk from a bowl of cereal and those who gulp it down as if it were drinking from the Holy Grail. The easiest way to think about it is in terms of politics, you have the liberals, conservatives, and independents.

Liberals: These milk-drinking-activists believe in the whole cereal experience, not just the top two percent where the crunchy goodness lies. Some liberals view drinking the leftover concoction as a breakfast dessert, while others feel it is their consumer duty to not let any milk go to waste.

Conservatives: These traditionalists believe the strength in their meal is in the cereal itself, not some milky residue. Conservatives are set in their ways and believe once the cereal is gone, the meal is over, no need to reach out to content.

Independents: This party is on the fence depending on the cereal in their bowl. They may guzzle up left over milk from Cocoa Krispies (a.k.a. chocolate milk), but they may not feel inclined to drink up Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk (which is like drinking straight sugar).

Now although I would like for this to be a non-partisan blog, and I will always welcome both milk drinkers and dumpers, I must admit that I down that milk as if I’m Indiana Jones drinking for eternal life in the Last Crusade. I’m always curious to hear what side others fall on the great milk divide, and their reasoning behind it.

'Oh My God It's Obama O's'

It was only a matter of time before cereal went political. A unique travel company, AirBed & Breakfast, is selling Obama O’s and Cap’n McCain as a part of a marketing promotion. Obama O’s slogan is “Hope In Every Bowl”, while Cap’n McCain’s is “A Maverick In Every Box”.

The Cap’n MaCain jingle actually makes more sense than any of the points he made in the last debate. He would probably have more success in the future if he just played the jingle over and over again. See example below:

"Stay the course, never surrender, with every bite you're a freedom defender."

Next should be Palin Puffs. What should the slogan be?

I Pity The Fool

After Michael Phelps' domination at the Beijing Olympics, many criticized the athlete for wanting to appear on a Frosted Flakes box rather than Wheaties. If the dude loves Frosted Flakes, let him promote Frosted Flakes. Why should any sports star be obligated to promote a cereal they probably never eat?

What Phelps really should do is have a company make his own cereal (Phelps Phlakes?), as the great 1980's American legend, Mr. T, once did. Although Phelps will never be nearly as badass as the man who played Clubber Lang, it can’t hurt to try to take a business tip from the former actor/wrestler/motivational speaker, and yes, musical artist.

If you have any doubts about "teaming up with Mr. T", you clearly haven't seen the commercial.